Darling I'm Here
by nabilanordin11
Summary: Headcanon: The morning of Regina's wedding - Stable Queen. "When nothing else subsists from the past, after the people are dead, after the things are broken and scattered...the smell and taste of things remain poised a long time, like souls...bearing resiliently, on tiny and almost impalpable drops of their essence, the immense edifice of memory"


**A headcanon of mine that I couldn't resist to lengthen it into a one-shot. I was inspired by a scene in a movie where the bride is getting ready and her mind plays tricks on her in disguise of her dead lover. Anyway, I hope my headcanon makes sense. Enjoy!**

_p/s: A gazilion thanks to iiwasalwaysthequeen! Without her I wouldn't have the guts to post this. _

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Today was the day. Today was her wedding day. The sky was a bright blue, the birds chirped and the air was cool. If she were any other bride, she would have been delighted. Several knocks at the doors of her bedchamber beckoned her to wake and prepare for what is meant to be the most celebrated day in her life.

Instead, her heart filled with dread for this day and the days to come, knowing without a doubt she was destined to live her life as if a death curse loomed over her.

Since arriving at the King's palace, every night she knelt in prayer, faced towards the night sky as it played witness to her desperate cries. From the depths of her heart she openly wished to the notorious Rheul Ghorm and only one wish she would utter. To be taken away from this place, be it dead or alive. To relieve her of the pain that this union would ensue and to be rid of these murderous thoughts that challenged her sanity, day after day. She was losing grasp of herself.

But then again, what **is** there left of her? Her soul had crushed into tiny grains of dust along with Daniel's heart.

When the brim of her heart overflowed with emotion, she couldn't move from where she knelt against the cold, hardened stony floor. She knelt there until her thighs cramped, her kneecaps grazed deeply into the crooks of the stones, until her hands fell flat to support what her back could no longer and she would sink to the floor, lying curled within herself. Her tired body slowly succumbing to her tears of exhaustion that accompanied her to slumber.

But no one knew better, and even if they did, no one paid mind to her. They were quick to assume it to be a symptom of cold feet, something that any young bride would experience. The maids clucked at her pale appearance, finding it amusing that although she may be young, she was well on her way to being an old maid.

For her, living a life as an old maid would be far more rewarding than what she has been betrothed to. She would rather live out her days as an old maid and carry no children because then there would be no guilt shadowing her every step. The guilt towards Daniel for not being strong enough to face her mother, the guilt for giving herself to another man; a man she does not love, the guilt for not bearing the children they had always dreamed of.

Her eyes squeezed shut at the thought of what could've been, a tear involuntarily slipping between the cracks of her tired eyelids. A jolt of pain shoots across her ribs suddenly when her corset was tightened further. Although it pained her, she found it to be a blessing in disguise for it masked the tears she had already shed.

"M'lady? Was that too tight?" asked the younger maid. She didn't allow herself to speak, afraid that her emotions may betray her and word of her behaviour would reach her mother. Above all else, her mother is the last person she wants to see today. She only looked above her shoulder with a stony glare, her eyes quite red from the tears she tried to suppress.

Inhaling deeply and a hand gripping tightly on one of the pillars of her bed to steady herself, she tried to summon the strength and tenacity to endure this torture; the constrictions of her corset resembling the hold she couldn't break free from this life of hers.

Seeing the bride-to-be's distress, the older maid suggested that they give her some time alone whilst they fetch her something to eat. Before taking their leave, the younger maid laid a sheer robe on her shoulders. At the final click of the large doors closing behind them, her stiff shoulders considerably relaxed as she breathed a sigh of relief.

The powdery aroma of the fresh flowers in her room soon calmed her senses as she sat on her chaise lounge, teetering on the edge of it due to her rigid posture. For a while, it was just her and her thoughts until a faint sillage of a familiar fragrance wafted in the air around her. A scent that she knew could only belong to one man; Daniel.

Warm and earthy from the horses he cared for, soft but masculine from the cowhide leather saddles and the crisp sweetness of hay left astray on the seams of his cloak. It was unmistakably him but also unequivocally impossible. Her breaths were short and ragged as she tried to push the lingering scent of him to the back of her mind. _Daniel, don't…_

Her body immediately tensed when she felt his breath hovering over her ear, _Darling, I'm here. _She couldn't think and she couldn't act, forcing her eyes close at the feel of his calloused but gentle hands pull the side of her robe, revealing her neck and shoulder. His fingers feathered across her back just above her corset causing her to shiver and his warm breaths trailed up her shoulder to the nape of her neck. She tilts her head slightly allowing him to trail further, whimpering his name softly when he lightly kissed her behind her ear.

Her eyes flashed open when sounds of shuffled feet could be heard at her door. Despite the doors being closed, a cool draft of wind brushed her skin. With that, he was gone and the scent of the flowers flooded her senses once more. She absently rubs the empty space beside her, hoping to feel his warmth on her fingers. The maids having returned, stood awkwardly at the entrance feeling a change in atmosphere including the lady's aura.

Her body was not one with her soul as the maids busied around her, the voices of her mother and Snow were faintly heard as they cooed and awed at the remarkable wedding dress. The dress glimmered brightly as stardust complimenting her bridal crown as it is customary for royalty to wear silver on their wedding day. Royalty; it was her father's birthright, her mother's wish and now, her misfortune.

Being Queen in exchange of her true love was the price she had to pay. Masking a stifled sob with a cough, their attention focused back on her. On her, and not the dress, not of her beauty, not of her providing an heir to the benevolent King; but just her. They led her by the hand to sit at her vanity table, "I'm thirsty," she proclaimed, dismissing the maids with a wave of her hand. Her tone was stern, lacking the usual cheer that came with youth.

She flicked her eyes up to face her reflection and her breath hitched. She saw Daniel's reflection staring back at her and it was as if it were just the two of them in the room. He shook his head playfully, almost inviting her to smile with him. _Darling, I'm here. _He came closer and closer towards her; with every step he took the faster her heartbeat, as though synchronized.

His aroma filled her senses, as she watched him take her bridal jewellery and clasped it around her neck, gently touching her cool skin. A silent tear rolled down her cheek as she stared at him, longing to touch him as he had touched her, to feel the warmth of his skin against her and to hold him in her embrace a little while longer.

He looks to her reflection with kind eyes and a small smile, before placing his hand under her chin, tilting it to face him. He leaned in for a gentle kiss on her cheek where her tears had fallen. _Darling, I'm here._

She dared not open her eyes, afraid that he would fade away and that his tender kisses were all just a figment of her imagination. But someone was calling for her, beckoning her to be quick on her feet as the ceremony was about to begin. A child's voice, "Come come, you must come right away. You are to be wed. You are to be my stepmother", says the child gleefully.

* * *

Standing outside the cathedral doors, her hand steady on her father's proffered arm, she asked her father, "How can such a wedding ever be the start of a good marriage? How can any happiness ever come to the King and I that have been bought at such a terrible price?" Her eyes watered as she silently pleaded for him to give her an answer—an answer that she could live with. He shrugged, "I'm sorry, my child."

Before she could retaliate, the wedding march was sounded and the doors opened where a pathway lead to the altar. Her eyes were moist and filled with grief as she walked slowly to face her new husband, the King. Her mother's icy glare could do nothing for her then. She was in mourning on her wedding day.

Her sights focused on the King, dressed in white and smiling at her but she knew it to be false, that this was all for Snow and of her mother's making. She tried her best to school her features and be the blushing bride, the kingdom's future Queen. Her attempts became futile when the sight before her took her breath away. Daniel stood at the end of the aisle, handsome and poised like a prince with a smile that did not mirror the look of remorse in his eyes.

_Daniel, take me away from here. Please. I don't want to marry the King. Daniel, I love you. _She grew angry when he refused to respond to her pleas. _Why aren't you stopping me? _

A light pat on her hand brought her out of her reverie, to find her father looking at her with sorrow and guilt at what he was about to do. Beyond that she saw her mother with a glimmer of a smile, looking triumphant as all her hard work and sacrifice has paid off with a hand lying possessively on Snow's shoulder. She hesitantly turned to face the King, to face her unwanted fate.

She repeated the words of the marriage vow, felt the weight of a cold ring on her finger, and felt his cool kiss, in a daze. When she walked back down that absurd walkway and saw the smiling faces stretching from her feet to the walls of the cathedral, she started to realize that it was done. She is married to the King, a man she did not love, who made her Queen. She is a stepmother to the same child who had a hand in the death of her true love.

Daniel's scent wafted through the air in the cathedral, catching her attention to where he stood against the large doors. She heard his voice that seemed so close as if it came from within her. _Darling, I'm here, don't be surprised when I echo in your heart. I'm the voice of your heart after all. I'll always be here, I love you._

Her vision is blurred with tears, as she watched him fade away. _Daniel, don't go. _It then dawned on her the true meaning of his words. In every whisper, he would be there. In every smile, he would be there. In every tear, he would be there. And in every echo of her heartbeat, there he would remain.

* * *

Her head leaned against the headboard of the marital bed she now shares with her husband, the King. Her body ached from the inside and out and her heart screamed of anger, rage and contrition for bedding another man other than her true love. At the thought of it, her hands scrambled for the hem of her nightdress, pulling it down over her knees repeatedly, as though she could hide the shame and erase the memory of the King's touch against her skin.

Repulsed with herself and of her husband, she gently pulled off the covers and tip-toed to her chaise lounge. Lying there, knees curled up to her chest, muffled sobs shook her fragile and broken body. The weight of what had happened today finally catching up to her conscious mind. Inevitably alone in the confines of a loveless marriage, bereft of her mother's twisted love, and forced to keep a vigil on the child who betrayed her trust; the Queen cries herself to sleep with no longer a wish in her heart for the unwilling Blue Fairy.

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**Is it headcanon to you? :D Please review! Reviews are always much appreciated. ~parrilla-adkins~**


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